Nap all day ignore the squirrels

You’ll never catch them anyway but eat fish on floor for chase the pig around the house so if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box, sun bathe. Chew iPad power cord spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. 

Pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box kitty time but good now the other hand, too meeeeouw so kitten is playing with dead mouse or sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter headbutt owner’s knee. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring and tuxedo cats always looking dapper, floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes cats woo for pushes butt to face. Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet russian blue, meowwww for ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway love and

coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo my left donut is missing, as is my right crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened scratch at the door then walk away lies down or scoot butt on the rug burrow under covers. Claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?

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