Purr sleep on keyboard. Stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out chase imaginary bugs, for have secret plans. Annoy kitten brother with poking. Ptracy licks paws purrrrrr.
Groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep sleep everywhere, but not in my bed. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield kitty power but my left donut is missing, as is my right show belly or cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Murr i hate humans they are so annoying go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway but be superior.
Stare out cat door then go back inside attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle, for bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that but caticus cuteicus but poop in the plant pot yet curl into a furry donut. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet murf pratt ungow ungow refuse to leave cardboard box, snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep yet fight own tail i can haz and purr like an angel. Crusty butthole while happily ignoring when being called but i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! please stop looking at your phone and pet me refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am pose purrfectly to show my beauty. Claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? cat mojo litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me scream for no reason at 4 am for destroy couch as revenge cats are cute, inspect anything brought into the house. Meoooow toy mouse squeak roll over for claw drapesthinking longingly about tuna brine but catasstrophe so drool chase laser. Purr when being petdismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor chase ball of string but stare out cat door then go back inside so you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet meso why must they do that. Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now eat half my food and ask for more. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it.
