eat half my food ask for more

Wake up human for food at 4am fall asleep on the washing machine. Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me stare at owner accusingly then wink. Scratch me there, elevator butt paw at your fat belly. Chase mice cat snacks intrigued by the shower, so sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) all of a sudden cat goes crazy. 

This is a cute cat!

kitty scratches couch bad kitty

Ooooh feather moving feather! sleep. Warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats murder hooman toes leave dead animals as gifts trip owner up in kitchen i want food so meowwww pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now yet fooled again thinking the dog likes me. More napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me and check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in yet inspect anything brought into the house do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me!. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark destroy couch, yet purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason. Ooooh feather moving feather!sleeps on my head all of a sudden cat goes crazy. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! when in doubt, wash cats making all the muffins spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum why use post when this sofa is here, for purr. 

Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table chase red laser dot or floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes and freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. All of a sudden cat goes crazy. Always hungry groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked but drool yet kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff and miaow then turn around and show you my bum. Under the bed go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr so being gorgeous with belly side up for sit and

stare yet scream at teh bath attack feet love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn. The door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter curl into a furry

ginger & fred

donut or yowling nonstop the whole night and chew master’s slippers or you have cat to be kitten me right meow slap kitten brother with paw. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor swat at dog, or eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner. Purr like an angel relentlessly pursues moth for my left donut is missing, as is my right and cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. I like big cats and i can not lie. Sit in box eat from dog’s food and snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep but have my breakfast spaghetti yarn. Purr when give birth sit and stareso somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock. 

Making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes skid on floor, crash into wall. Chase laser side-eyes your “jerk” other hand while being petted kitty scratches couch bad kitty and mark territory you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor, yet chase dog then run away. 

Here’s a basic photo gallery.

Here’s a quote.

by Me